The first snow hits the ground or the sun doesn’t come out for a week and all of a sudden someone says “Let’s plan a trip to a beach”. Someone else agrees and they each have totally different thought bubbles over their heads as to what this means. Unless you think and talk through these things ahead of time you may find yourself wanting to get away from your partner or spend your precious vacation time in a foul mood and shivering.
Blonde and Brunette live on the same mental bandwidth ( horrifyingly true) so we know what we mean when one of us utters the phrase “beach vacation” . We mean nonstop flights, somewhere we can snorkel near the resort, preferably a place we can stay using points and air conditioning. But then Blonde wants Wi-Fi and Brunette doesn’t want an expensive no-option breakfast buffet and Blonde remembers that she likes adults only swimming pools and Brunette realizes her passport is about to expire and next thing you know our options went from limitless to two places on the planet!
So use our experience to be smarter than we are!
How experienced a traveler are you?
If you travel to other countries frequently and can ask where the bathroom is in more than two languages, have a passport that’s still good for at least three months after your travel dates and have a credit card that does not charge foreign currency conversion fees, then we allow you to go virtually anywhere. But if being somewhere they don’t speak English, use other currency, drive on the “wrong side of the road”, have cultural norms that will make you uncomfortable (the woman are topless or the women are wearing burkinis) then pick somewhere that won’t push your buttons. That’s what visiting your parents is supposed to do for you! Don’t go there and then be mad at them for speaking their language and having their customs – they won’t change their ways and you won’t enjoy yourself.
Also, if you’re going to another country, particularly anywhere that could have malaria or other medical issues, do your research and get the vaccinations you need. You should generally get the vaccinations 4 to 6 weeks ahead of time and you can find out what you need from the CDC. (And you should absolutely never ever take medical advice from us.)
What’s your budget?
Right now we are planning a trip to the Maldives. We are incredibly fortunate to have free airfare from Qatar Airways (business class no less). However, when we picked the Maldives we didn’t do a budget then choose that destination. We picked the destination because we always wanted to go there and now we’re freaking out over the costs of lodging!
So if you have a defined budget that you can’t go over then define your priorities. For instance, nonstop flights are always the lowest hassle way to travel. But they cost more than flights that involve transfers. So if you want to stay at a top-notch resort you may need to save money by taking connecting flights.
Be realistic about your budget. Don’t think food is cheap on islands (Blonde just toppled off a stool laughing at that idea) because it isn’t. Period. At least not the kind that doesn’t give you food poisoning, but that’s another article.
Also does your budget have to cover pet-sitting, baby sitting, or other services you wouldn’t normally be incurring? Add those in too.
Will you have to buy water to drink or does the resort filter its water? (Note: we don’t do B&Bs or other sensible alternatives to hotels very often so are giving advice from the perspective of staying at a hotel.) Does the property charge one of those incredibly irritating “resort fees” that can add a lot of cost to each day and you can’t opt out of it and it isn’t included in the rate? Does the rate you see quoted include all taxes? We’re finding for example that in the Maldives taxes will add about 20% a day to rates that are already horrifying.
If you have to know what your vacation is going to cost ahead of time then you should strongly consider staying at an all inclusive resort.
Also, remember that there are fabulous beaches in the U.S. so you don’t have to leave the country to have a wonderful beach vacation. And if you don’t have a passport you can still go to Puerto Rico or the U.S. Virgin Islands and save the cost of getting passports.
What do you want to do when you get there?
We always want to snorkel and Blonde takes long and shockingly unattractive naps poolside. Brunette has to have a pool to swim laps in while Blonde snores. We both loathe cigarette smoke and are none too fond of screaming children. But it’s easier to be sure there’s a place to snorkel and a good pool than to be sure there won’t be smokers or children. That means we will favor a place that meets our two non-negotiables and then be thrilled if they also have adult only pools or no smoking rooms and grounds but not plan around those things.
Do you like to spend the day on the beach or do you want to explore the area? If you want to explore the area you will probably need to rent a car. Can you drive a stick shift? If so you’ll save a lot on renting your car. Does the place you’re going drive on the right or the left? The U.S. Virgin Islands drive on the left so don’t be fooled by that “U.S.” business!
Do you want to rent a boat, parasail, or do other things that are a lot of fun but will take you back to the budget issue. Don’t forget tips – people live on them and they can add up. Just talk about it ahead of time so you don’t get there and plod happily off to roast in the sun for the day while your travel companion is horrified that you aren’t going to go parasailing with him.
Are you going at the right time of year for the destination you’ve chosen?
Right now there are some really good prices for trips to Bermuda and it looks so warm in the pictures and the people all emerge from the water with no cellulite and glowingly in love! But wait a minute. Today it was 68 degrees and that’s the norm. But it was 84 in Cancun, 87 in Turks and Caicos and 88 on St. John. If the price is low to somewhere you normally think of as being expensive do your homework. They don’t lower the prices because demand is high! It might be the rainy season, it might be the wrong season (you can go to the beach on Christmas day in Australia which probably surprised at least one person reading this) or it could be a great time but a new resort or two opened and there’s more price competition all at once and you can benefit. Look up probable weather for your travel dates at each location you’re considering at Wunderground’s Travel Planner. You have to be willing to look around a bit on the page to find everything you might want but it’s very useful.
Get travel insurance
Yes, we get it. We don’t like buying this either and we’ve spent a lot on it over the years and only needed it twice and it was a pain to file claims both times. But, especially if you’re on a tight budget, you can’t risk having to eat the cost of extra nights in a hotel because your flight was cancelled, your airline went on strike, you broke your leg, a family member back home became seriously ill, etc. We use the site insuremytrip.com (despite the fact that we don’t make a penny off them). This isn’t advice specifically for beach vacations but it applies to all trips with a big financial outlay.
That site will show you a selection of policies you can compare and, stultifying as this is, you need to read the details. For example, because we like to snorkel we look to see if we need to add a supplement to cover injuries from water sports. If you’re planning a bungee jump you have a better chance with prayer than insurance because insurance will virtually never cover any extreme sport and they may have a different definition of extreme than you do.
Read reviews before booking anyplace
We spend hours poring over TripAdvisor to see how places are rated, what rooms people say to get or to avoid and to know what to expect. Are the beaches sandy or rocky? Is the place on a beach, near a beach or just using the word beach in their name? Do they have construction going on that would drive you nuts? Does everyone say the food is good or the food is horrible? Is the water too cold to swim in? Is one side of the island windy and the other not?
We also usually post some questions in one of the travel forums and another traveler or maybe the ‘destination expert” will get back to you with useful information. We know that a lot of people think the reviews are fake and undoubtedly some are. But we have both published literally hundreds of truthful non-fake reviews. Throw out the person who said it was heaven and the one who said it was hell and read the rest. If someone downgraded a property because it rained that’s just stupid but if they say it had bed bugs, don’t go there!
Try to book cancellable hotel reservations if you can
We’re fans of booking,com because you can almost always get very good prices there, rates that allow you to cancel (but cheaper ones if you’re willing to give up the right to cancel) and they have very good customer service. Sometimes hotel chains will guarantee that their websites always have their lowest rates so check them too.
On hotel sites see if they have any specials or discounts you can use. One of us is over 50. OK, we both are. But the point is that you can get great AARP discounts once you get past the horror of being over 50. There are also often discounts for AAA members (not AA), military or government employees or if you work for a big company they may have a special rate you can use. (Those were the days…)
Pack realistically
You’ll moan and groan at the impossibility of this but do your best to travel lightly enough that you can carry your luggage on the plane with you. True there are much worse things than having to buy a cute new bathing suit because yours is in your lost suitcase, but it gets old fast and island time doesn’t tend to mean things will be expedited. Make it easy on yourself – you’ll wear the same couple pieces of clothing all week anyway.
Go and have fun and don’t expect more than that!
If you go to save your marriage you are almost guaranteed to file for divorce within a month of returning. If you go to make your friends jealous they will have a new BMW sitting out front when you get home with your credit card groaning with debt. If you want a tan, just buy some tanning lotion at CVS. If you want to “make a baby” your fertility won’t increase because you’re at a beach. If you plan to be drunk the whole time then stay home and drink. If you expect to meet a beautiful boy/girl for a fun fling be sure to stay out of jail and get tested for STDs when you return.
Go for your own enjoyment and plan well so that it will be enjoyment. Any other good thing that results is merely a bonus!