- We are old enough to remember East Germany and the fall of the Berlin Wall (aka the ‘Anti-Fascist Protection Barrier”). And, unlike some of the young whippersnappers applying, when we heard that “the Wall came down” we didn’t think it was a reference to a construction accident or a Pink Floyd song.
- We offer both the planning and sensibility of a brunette and the attention-grabbing and exaggeration of a blonde – a uniquely powerful combo.
- We have German heritage on both sides of our family and we want to go see if this is really the country to blame for Blonde’s fleshy white thighs.
- We have an extensive, documented history of making fools of ourselves on 6 continents and can be counted on to do something newsworthy such as sneezing hot soup all over Angela Merkel.
- Blonde wants to continue to try to make people believe travel blogging is her new career (a career without money). In other words, as Blonde has said to so many men, “if you’ve got the apartment, I’ve got the time.” And Brunette is always game for getting away from her husband for a month.
We have apparently already answered the contest question of who we would want to take – each other. Trust us – our options are limited.
Blonde will drag Brunette by her motion-sickness wristbands to ride in the fastest elevator in Europe, the Panoramapunkt. While Brunette stands with her face to the wall Blonde will be snapping pictures with her zoom lens and complaining that she’s hungry. After plunging back to earth it will be time to go to Vau for our lunch of venison (Blonde likes chewing on Bambi) and Brunette will get the same old St. Pierre with bone marrow and lamb’s ear salad that she eats at home all the time.
We will wear out our sensible, yet adorable, walking shoes on a tour of Berlin’s architecture. Feigning interest in learning about how much of the architecture reflects Germany’s political changes we will be secretly plotting to get the guide to take us somewhere to sample Swabian Maultaschen. Brunette has never eaten a protected noodle before but, to be honest, Blonde probably has. Protected by the EU as a regional noodle pouch specialty that is. What were you thinking?
Because we will have had beer with lunch we will be totally lacking in energy and discipline for the rest of the day. We’ll probably think this is a good time to visit Museum Island and soak up some history and culture. But after being there an hour we’ll remember that that stuff doesn’t hold our interest for long. So we will guiltily decide to go back to our apartment and write a quick blogpost and just make stuff up. Seriously, who fact checks travel bloggers?
On our Sunday in Berlin we will go in search of unusual (and inexpensive) souvenirs at the massive flea market Flohmarkt am Mauerpark. If there are too many fleas we will head over to the Flohmarkt am Boxhagner Platz and try to fool ourselves into thinking we did a brilliant job haggling some old geezer for a better price on a pair of doorknobs we don’t even want. If we aren’t drooping and broke we will also grace the Nowkoelln Flowmarkt and show them what up-scale and trendy looks like (by pointing out other people). Hungry again we’ll get a table on the Landwehrkanal, with a view of the water, and munch our way through the food stalls (skipping the one that sells rhubarb juice).
Having sampled history, culture, shopping and cuisine we will put on our most outlandish cougar attire and head on over to the Mitte district . Our evening will begin at 6vorne where our fellow fashionistas gather. After downing some vodka a cab will be needed to get us from there to the Schöneberg area where, as we all know, David Bowie and Iggy Pop once lived together. We’ll file our a report for our gay (as well as our despondent) followers as to the current scene. (As if we’d know.)
Next stop will be Cassiopeia where Blonde will drunkenly attempt the climbing wall while wearing inappropriate footwear and inadequate underwear. Brunette may have decided to ditch her sister by now and have made her way to Salon-Zur Wilden Renate where she’ll try to slip into the labyrinth without paying the 10€ fee. Once inside she will immediately become lost, have to call 911 for assistance and then be annoyed that they insist on speaking German.
Reunited and sober(ish) we will suddenly realize that our time in Berlin is almost over and will frantically dash around to see the AquaDom & Sea Life Berlin. Brunette will try to do her sneaky trick of taking pictures through aquarium glass and then later telling her friends at home that these are things she photographed while snorkeling. In Berlin. Where she lives most people won’t question that.
After seeing some rays, sharks, Wreckfish (Blonde as a fish) and Eagle Rays (didn’t Don Henley sing with them?) we’ll be hungry and go to Katz Orange for lunch (assuming someone else is paying the tab). We will waddle off to get our last views of the city and then realize that – duh- we didn’t get to the remaining section of the Berlin Wall. Off we will sprint to the East Side Gallery where many famous (to other people) artists have painted murals since the fall of the wall. We will ask some poor soul to take a picture of the two of us together then we will make our way back to our inviting Go with Oh apartment to pack and depart for our next city. We will hope the authorities at that destination will not have been forewarned.
Throughout our adventures in Berlin we will be tweeting, abusing Instagram, shamelessly talking up Go with Oh on our blog and Facebook page and generally being the type of people Brunette hoped her sons wouldn’t turn out to be. Isn’t life funny?
We are confident that this compelling entry will secure our being selected as the winners of the competition but you are free to enter also by going to Go with Oh’s contest page. However, your time would be better spent on a massive write-in campaign asking them to select us. Even a tiny campaign….
Oh, we are hoping to go!