Fear of home exchange
Blonde is planning to exchange her home in Florida for one somewhere that isn’t Florida.
Ideally she will be able to spend a month or so on another continent in 2016 and not incur any expenses for her lodging. And no, the plan is not to meet people in bars or bus stations and just sleep around. (Why do we have to talk about the 70s anyway?)
However, when Blonde mentions her plan to exchange her home her friends’ first reaction is invariably “I wouldn’t want someone in my house going through my stuff”. That comment makes Blonde want to drop everything and immediately go to that friend’s home and rummage around in his or her stuff. Apparently it is so fascinating that looking through it would be how strangers would choose to spend their vacation.
One brave friend indicated that she would consider doing a home exchange but said “I wouldn’t know where to begin”. So, for those of you who can move past your fear of someone looking for a corkscrew in a kitchen drawer, here’s how you get started.
Getting ready to do a home exchange
Join a home exchange service
Blonde has used HomeExchange.com in the past and plans to do so again. (You can see in the screenshot that her subscription has expired. Embarrassing.) They have been facilitating home exchanges for 25 years; long before Al Gore invented the inter webs. HomeExchange.com has 65,000+ homes available in 150 countries which seems like a decent starting point.
HomeExchange.com charges $150 for a 12 month membership. That sounds a bit “yikes” but if you make use of your membership it’s cheap money. If you have Blonde’s slightly snooty tendency to not want to stay in a less than 4 star hotel then you know that $150 isn’t going to get you one night in most countries, much less an entire vacation.
Poke around on their site and you will find a lot of information you can read prior to signing up. They have explanations about how things work, suggestions and actual humans who will chat online with you 24/7. (To clarify: One of their people will not hold a 24 hour chat with you. They are merely available on that basis.) Also, HomeExchange.com verifies that people are who they say they are and you do not have to reveal your name or email address to interact with prospective exchangers.
Create a profile for your Home Exchange
Think of it as putting yourself on Match.com. Would you put up a picture of you with no make-up, spinach stuck between your teeth and dirty hair? Would you describe yourself as a “foul-mouthed, uneducated gold-digger”? Well you shouldn’t; it didn’t work when Blonde tried it.
Take nice pictures of your home when it’s neat. This drives Blonde nuts and she is about as far from a neat nick as you can get. But she has been left with the impression that no one in Europe makes their beds. If they don’t in their real lives that’s fine; but for God’s sake do it for the photo!
Write an accurate yet flattering description of the home you are offering to exchange. Take a picture of every room in your home that you will make available to a prospective exchanger. (Some people lock off a room or area to put their valuables in or their ex-spouses or whatever.)
Tell about the amenities. Do not assume that everyone knows a condo in Florida would have air conditioning. Everyone would not necessarily know that. Have wireless Wi-Fi, washer and dryer, free parking on the premises, coffee maker, a nice view and a quiet location? Say so. Have a home meth lab? Probably shouldn’t do a home exchange.
Describe the local area’s attractions. Are there beaches, is it a city with lots of great museums, is your place near public transportation, skiing or deep-sea fishing? Mention whatever might apply to a prospective exchanger even if you don’t personally value it. (Blonde could take about alligator wrestling classes even though she doesn’t think they’ve very tempting.)
Decide what you will and will not do.
This is sounding more like Match.com all the time! Are you willing to make your car available to people with whom you exchange homes? Some people do; Blonde wouldn’t dream of it.
Whatever your do’s and don’ts be upfront about them. You don’t want to start falling in love with the idea of a specific exchange and find out that they have 3 year-old triplets and 2 Great Danes and you never told them you don’t allow pets or young children.
Blonde owns a fair bit of breakable pretty things she’s acquired in her travels and does not want small children in her old-maidesque abode. So her listing said “no children” and lots of people with small children contacted her and were very huffy about how their children should be the exception. (This is another way it’s like Match.com – people want you to want what they want but you don’t have to.)
Get comfortable before you do a home exchange
Maybe you can only relax if you do a simultaneous exchange which means you are in the other person’s home when they are in yours. This seems to offer solace to the paranoid. The theory; someone won’t look in your underwear drawer if you don’t look in theirs and this threat nullification only exists in the same time and space continuum.
Decide what you would do if someone wants your place for Christmas week but you were planning to be there. Would you be willing to go stay with a friend for that week so you can bank a stay at the exchangers place for a time next year that you would prefer? Will they commit to making their place available to you on that future date? Does you friend know you’re planning to ruin their Christmas?
Do you want to actually talk to the people ahead of time? Set up a Skype call and do it. Are there things in their profile that aren’t filled in and you wonder about? Then ask them. This is your decision and you need to be comfortable and excited about it. You cannot, however, remove all uncertainty from life (spoiler alert).
And if you ask them to tell you their height and weight and they tell you to bugger off don’t be surprised (this has probably happened to you before).
Do it and remember The Golden Rule
Clean the place you’re leaving and leave the one you exchanged it for in at least as good a state of cleanliness as it was in when you got there. (People get to review you so keep that in mind!)
Don’t bring more people than you said you would. Don’t think you can get away with undetected smoking. Don’t throw a party.
Do leave a bottle of wine or nice note for those coming to your home or those who loaned you their home.
Do leave information that you would want: emergency contacts, Wi-Fi password, phone number of cleaning person if someone would rather pay to have it be done than do it, instructions for non-intuitive things (your universal remote), when and how garbage is picked up and that the voluptuous neighbor next door always does her nude sunbathing before noon on Sunday.
FCC Required disclosure: Blonde didn’t exchange her home for the last 2 years because she had an elderly kitty she could not expect anyone else to care for to her or the kitty’s satisfaction. Sadly, said beloved kitty is no longer on earth so Blonde is going to resume home exchanging. She’s getting her membership to HomeExchange.com renewed for free for writing this post which is why she said everything so properly and never so much as made one smartypants remark.