On our first bold automotive foray into Sicily B&B drove from Catania to Taormina. We didn't drive straight there; that's for amateurs and we are experienced travelers. Instead, we left the car rental lot, executed a complex multi-lane U-turn and launched ourselves onto a highway leading in the exact opposite direction of Taormina. As is our custom, it took a not … [Read more...]
The role of the “Poopa” in protectioning babies in Ortigia
On B&B's trip to Sicily each day brought danger, humor, drama and stupidity - and that was just us. The day we somehow bumbled our way to Siracusa we went to the historic island of Ortigia and added a new cast member to our daily drama. The sky was looking as angry Hedwig when he first saw his inch. So, bringing to life our motto, "what could possibly go wrong" we … [Read more...]
Fabio? Butter would have been better.
On the first day of a trip to Sicily Blonde and Brunette were favoring the Sheraton Catania with their SPG points and presence. B&B had gotten a jet lagged late start to the day so had modest sightseeing goals. So modest that they consisted solely of having a tour of Catania via a convertible driven by a local guide. When learning that the tour guide's name was Fabio, the … [Read more...]
Size matters to a bus driver in Malta (and billions of women too)
Famous journalist rescues distressed damsels in Caltagirone, Sicily
Prior to a trip to Sicily Blonde and Brunette agreed that, as we could stay at the Sheraton in Catania for free using Starwood points, we would base ourselves there and do day trips to neighboring destinations. Blonde, aware of her designated driver status due to being the aggressive wackjob half of the sister duo, established her driving conditions in advance. All … [Read more...]
Is it your gas mileage or your breasts?
Blonde and Brunette went to Sicily - Land of the Moody and Lecherous - and rented a car from a skinny, hate-emitting, little bitch at a company in Catania. She blew smoke and sneers after us as we drove away, in our tinny, accessory-devoid car to our near-certain automotive deaths. If you're new somewhere that's world-famous for fast reckless driving and one of you drives … [Read more...]