This week Blonde had an interview for an interesting job (something she'd come to regard as an oxymoron) and she failed to adhere to any behavior recommended for interviews. Her failings included getting hopelessly lost and being late. She had Google Maps, she had Siri, she's lived in the area for 16 years, it's a 12 mile drive on major roads and yet she had a complete … [Read more...]
How do you like your chicken chest? Striped?
One day B&B stopped in Lucca for lunch, found a lovely restaurant with an outdoor patio, sat down and were given this menu. We, particularly Blonde, started to laugh until we were crying when we read the menu. Remember: The waiter was not amused. He was even less amused to have the menu be photographed . Can't please everyone! Remember: This is not an etiquette or … [Read more...]
Size matters to a bus driver in Malta (and billions of women too)
Famous journalist rescues distressed damsels in Caltagirone, Sicily
Prior to a trip to Sicily Blonde and Brunette agreed that, as we could stay at the Sheraton in Catania for free using Starwood points, we would base ourselves there and do day trips to neighboring destinations. Blonde, aware of her designated driver status due to being the aggressive wackjob half of the sister duo, established her driving conditions in advance. All … [Read more...]
Find your crotch in Cinque Terre! Blonde did!
[slideshow] Prior to departing for a trip to the Liguria Region of Italy Blonde and Brunette each went to their respective hair salons to get chic new Euro-adventure haircuts. Apparently Blonde had unknowingly not been tipping her hairdresser well for years. The request to "cut it short but stylish so I don't have to fuss with it in Italy", followed by reading a book and not … [Read more...]
Is it your gas mileage or your breasts?
Blonde and Brunette went to Sicily - Land of the Moody and Lecherous - and rented a car from a skinny, hate-emitting, little bitch at a company in Catania. She blew smoke and sneers after us as we drove away, in our tinny, accessory-devoid car to our near-certain automotive deaths. If you're new somewhere that's world-famous for fast reckless driving and one of you drives … [Read more...]
Can’t Switzerland just issue parking tickets like everyone else?
Blonde and Brunette arrived at Malpensa airport in Milan after the usual enjoyable air travel experience of unidentifiable food, screeching babies, germ and fart infested cabin air, and seats created by a dollhouse dominatrix furniture designer. Never all that bright in our own time zones, it isn't entirely a stretch to assume that we should be forbidden from getting off a … [Read more...]