The evolution of trip planning

Sporty and Silly Spice with no packing concerns in the world

When Blonde and Brunette were wee lasses our packing was all done by our mother. Our part of pre-trip planning was getting over-excited and giggly and hoping our grandparents would give us spending money.

When they did give us money Brunette would add it to what she had already saved. Blonde hadn’t saved a penny and would spend all of her money at the first Howard Johnson’s rest stop on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Even when our family was literally driving to California and back Blonde could never manage to make it out of Pennsylvania with her money. But that didn’t mean she didn’t have money for the rest of the trip. It just meant she would have to earn her additional cash.

How does a child in a car (legally) earn  extra cash? That was actually easy; by singing. Even as a mere slip of a thing Blonde had one of the worst singing voices imaginable. Combine that with determination and energy and it’s a powerful weapon. The most effective fund-raising technique was to sing, on an endless repetition loop, the old song “Ive been workin’ on the railroad”. The real moneymaker lyrics were:

Can’t you hear the whistle blowing,

Rise up so early in the morn;

Can’t you hear the captain shouting,

“Dinah, blow your horn!”

Dinah, won’t you blow,

Dinah, won’t you blow,

Dinah, won’t you blow your horn?

Dinah, won’t you blow,

Dinah, won’t you blow,

Dinah, won’t you blow your horn?

Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah

Someone’s in the kitchen I know

Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah

Strummin’ on the old banjo!

On a good day by the third round of this verse Brunette would be willing to pay Blonde to stop singing. It cost a quarter to shut Blonde up. (It’s much more expensive now).  But Blonde didn’t say she’d shut up forever and Brunette wasn’t a very effective negotiator. She would pay the quarter, Blonde would shut up briefly and then resume. From Pennsylvania to California, even 25¢ at a time, you can generate a significant transfer of wealth.

But, alas, we grew up and had to take on our own travel planning and preparation. We still sat and smiled for pictures but we were now in Turkey, not Pennsylvania. Our travel planning had changed. Instead of taking clothes we already owned we bought new outfits for every trip. We packed and checked gigantic suitcases, got pre-trip bikini waxes and Blonde still spent all of her money in the beginning of the trip. 

In our special shorts bought for Cappadocia because everyone knows you can’t wear shorts you already own when you go to Cappadocia!

Now we are planning a trip to Dubai and Thailand. We still buy new clothes and this blog has become a reason.  We don’t want to bore you with seeing us in the same outfits you saw us wearing on the last trip.

We still get bikini waxes but now we need to get our moustaches waxed too. Instead of worrying about having our periods when we are on vacation we buy travel insurance and sign up for  MedJet (motto: Take trips. Not chances.)  so we can be evacuated in a medical emergency or have our remains “repatriated” if one of us croaks.

Cute shoes have been replaced by sensible walking shoes (complete with custom made orthotics). Clothing is chosen for what it effectively conceals, not what it alluringly reveals. And Blonde still spends all of her money immediately but now it’s in airport terminals on layovers, not Howard Johnson’s.  But she has lost the knack of replenishing her funds from the National Bank of Brunette.

Sensible hats and shoes, non-skanky attire and walking sticks so we don’t break our hips.

One thing that hasn’t changed is that we still get over-excited and giggly.

Now where did I put my travel-size denture adhesive?