Lessons learned this year..Part 3 in a series: War + Eggplant + Sister = Inspired Product Design
If you’re a steady reader of this blog you know to expect decorum, gentle language and deeply held religious convictions. But not here.
This blog (the blog itself , not the writer) is very poorly behaved and will cement that reputation with this post.
This past September Blonde and Brunette attended the TBEX travel bloggers’ conference in Girona, Spain. Many truly wonderful activities were offered to attendees by the hosts, the Costa Brava Tourism Board. If they ran it, it was consistently top notch from the logistics to the experience itself to their staff. However, they were not the hosts of the final activity – a reenactment of a succesful (though only temporarily) battle against Napoleon’s troops in Girona.
Neither of the B sisters is a fan of war, whether in real time or in reenactments, BUT there was a party to conclude the conference after the faux battle and there would be free wine. So off we went along with the expectation that the reenactment would last about 20 minutes and the wine much longer. Instead the reenactment lasted longer than the actual war did, the guide with our group wandered off to flirt with some women then vanished and we and some other bloggers got lost and only found the party after it had run out of wine, food and fun.
The reenactment trauma stayed with us for days – particularly one of us who will not be identified (but has yellow hair.) At the reenactment there should have been an audiologist with a booth where you could buy hearing aids. The combination of constant gun and cannon shots had probably left most of the attendees with a minimum 80% hearing loss.
If you could hear, you probably couldn’t breathe due to the heavy clouds of foul smelling air hanging over the crowd, presumably from the aforementioned firearm related activity. Notably no counseling services were made available to the abused attendees.
When we finally made our way down the hill and into the town of Girona for dinner we were both coughing, in very bad moods and having to shout at each other to compensate for our newly acquired deafness. It was a bummer of a way for an otherwise well-run event to end. We did learn that war truly is hell but we’d always been willing to believe that anyway.
One (unidentified) sister (with yellow hair) developed a case of sudden onset PTSD from attending/being held hostage at the reenactment. Flashes of lights from cameras, loud noises and people in outdated attire caused her to flinch in panic.
Flash forward two days. The sisters are now staying in a majestic cliffside hotel over the ocean in a very quiet non-dramatic part of Spain (near Begur). We headed into Begur for dinner and found a small restaurant that was very convenient to where we’d parked the car and which had an appealing menu and prices that were less than the total of Spain’s debt.
The unidentified sister (with brown hair) ordered an eggplant dish which she enjoyed. She did not provide a warning label for her sister as to what side effects were likely to result from her eggplant consumption. However, she did “toot” her way back to the car, provoking many giggles and inevitably more toots.
Back at the hotel sisterly slumber – in separate beds – soon ensued. The sister who did not consume eggplant generally sleeps so soundly that marching bands in the room or ongoing construction around the bed wouldn’t awaken her. Off to Slumberland she went .
Soon there was a noise so loud and frightening that she sat bolt upright in bed in a panic looking about and shouting “What happened”?! The PTSD had kicked in big time.
The eggplant consuming sister had, let’s just say it, farted so loudly that she had awakened and terrified her sister! The massive giggling that resulted did little to restrain subsequent sound effects from either end of either sister.
The next day we realized that the previous night’s events actually were fodder for a brilliant new alarm clock design to help the hard-to-awaken sleepers of the world.
The sound sleeper sister sets three alarm clocks and sleeps through or hits snooze 1,000 times on each of them. She has a clock that simulates sunrise and tweeting birds. It doesn’t wake her up but it really pisses off the cat trying to find the birds. She sleeps soundly through all types of musical alarms and exasperated human voices. Getting up is the hardest part of the day for her and always has been but, perhaps, no more!
We decided to design an alarm clock that would start off with a clearly audible fart sound. If the sleeper hit snooze the farts would get aggressively longer, louder and more menacing. After the third time hitting snooze the alarm would then emit smells along with the noises. It would start fairly benignly – something like after a soda – but progress to the near death odors generated by Chinese food.
No one could sleep through this multi-sensory one-two punch! By the time a sleeper had lingered in bed to the point of getting the Chinese food killer gases the smell would not only awaken him or her but get them running out of the room, if not the building.
Right about now you’re thinking “ this is one of the best product designs I’ve heard of, these two are geniuses. Where can I buy one of the these for my own use or as a gift for an office party, my spiritual advisor or my member of Congress”?
All we can reveal at this time is that if you “like” our Facebook page you will be one of the first to be notified when our new product is commercially available. We are currently awaiting FDA approval due to some unfortunate and, we feel sure, unrelated deaths among our test population.