Dicking around in Barcelona

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Barcelona is known by many as a culinary gem, a design hub or the center of the perpetual Catalan tantrum about being a part of Spain. However, as your trusted sources for very little useful information Blonde and Brunette are at least bringing our readers the truth about Barcelona: Barcelona is a dick. Here are our experiences which led to this conclusion:

  • A prominent building in Barcelona is the Torre Agbar a 36 story building referred to politely as the – insert meaningful pause – “gherkin” or more colorfully as the “brick dick”. The shaft of this brick dick changes color on a nocturnal basis. Wonder if it’s even higher in the morning?
  • In our endless quest to bring you educational material we toured the “Erotic Museum” on Las Ramblas. As Blonde took photos of obscene drawings and an unfortunate statue where she presumed the model’s ex-wife had come back to chip away at his dick, Brunette watched porn movies by a former king of Spain.
  • After watching the porn movies Brunette commented “I’ve seen more dicks in 10 minutes than I did in 10 years living with 5 guys.” This sort of comment is not normally characteristic of Brunette and Blonde is wondering who the 5 dick-secretive guys were.
  • Within half an hour of leaving the Erotic Museum Brunette was seen happily aiming a gun directly at a street performer’s dick
  • On a walking tour about the flourishing design culture in Barcelona our guide took us to a design store and promptly felt the need to show us a lamp which is turned on and off with a flick of its dick.
  • While sailing with a man who has lived in Barcelona B&B were told about the “Elephant Man of Barcelona . This well known chap sports a tattooed Speedo and impressive penis and walks naked all over the city. To be fair he does wear socks, shoes and a cap.
  • Gaudi loved to create big phallic shapes that stabbed the sky. He may have been the first architect to create uncircumsised , um, erections.

So if anyone asks you what you know about Barcelona you can fairly respond “Barcelona is great if you like to dick around”.

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