Blondes and Beverages in Indonesia
When in Southeast Asia Blonde and Brunette finished our trip at the remote, luxurious, yet laid-back resort of Kura Kura .
Kura Kura is a private tropical island between Java and Borneo in the the Karimunjawa Archipelago. It’s a small gem of a place that to date hasn’t been besmirched by association with The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Donald Trump, Rosie O’Donnell or an endorsement by Fox News.
The resort has a very good restaurant with a creative chef and well-trained staff. Good thing because it’s your only choice unless you are a very long-distance swimmer or have your own plane or boat. As we met none of those criteria, we happily ate all of our meals there for 5 days.
The manager of the resort is Italian (an unintentionally hilarious gay man who smokes constantly while making dramatic gestures and pronouncements). We suspected having an Italian manager was the reason you could buy some good wine on a remote island in the world’s most populous Muslim-majority nation. As is often the case in Muslim countries, the house wines are not a good bet (at least until you’re on your ninth glass and no longer have a clue if you’re drinking kerosene). For that very reason we once went to South Africa instead of Egypt – better wine in South Africa.
On our first evening at the restaurant we inquired of our polite, smiling waiter, Jum, if we could purchase a bottle of wine and have them keep what we hadn’t yet consumed for future evenings. The affirmative reply was excellent news for both Blonde and Brunette. However, we don’t like the same wines so we each ordered our own bottle.
Brunette has one glass of wine and becomes several of the Seven Dwarfs; Happy, Sleepy and Dopey . Blonde has two glasses and becomes Happy, Slutty and Noisy (there were more than 7 Dwarfs it’s just that only 7 had PR agents). In the twilight of her blondicity Blonde only becomes verbally slutty but vaguely remembers when there was action to back up those words. Vaguely.
That first evening we each ordered a bottle and stored what remained for future meals. Blonde finished her first bottle on the third evening but two evenings remained. (Brunette probably had half a bottle left at the end of 5 days.)
Arriving for dinner on Evening #3 Blonde was fondly anticipating a second bottle of the same wine she had already polished off. Over the course of our stay we had gotten to know our server, Jum, a little more at each meal. We showed some curiosity about his life (we had a lot more than we showed) and he ventured a few tentative, innocent questions about ours. He found it intriguing to learn that Brunette has a husband but ecstatically leaves him behind to travel. He was openly amazed that Blonde is not only happily husbandless but probably not one of those virgins you get if you blow yourself up.
With our near BFF status Jum had become somewhat emboldened in his curiosity about our worldly lifestyles. Blonde ordered her second bottle of wine for the week. With a sincere and guileless curiosity Jum asked “Mrs. Blonde are you a wineaholic”?
The only fair response seemed to be ” Well, if liking wine makes you a wineaholic then yes, I guess I am”. Jum, who appeared to be a judgment-free young man, nodded happily and went trotted off to procure more fuel for Blonde’s wineaholicism.
By the next day Blonde and Jum were Facebook friends. Jum has a lot more friends than Blonde, but she has more wine.